I never thought that I would start an infertility blog one day. I never thought that I would have to face the struggles of infertility at all. In fact, I was way too worried about preventing pregnancy in my 20’s. The thought that I will not get pregnant once I was ready just did not cross my mind. But here I am in my mid-30’s, happily married, in a job I enjoy very much, financially stable with two furbabies and still not pregnant.
Hubby and I started officially trying in the summer of 2015, which means we have been on this journey for close to 2 full years. That feels like a really long time when month after month you are faced with disappointment. After about 8 months of trying to get pregnant on our own, I went to see my OBGYN and after two failed cycles on Clomid and another 6 months on our own, I finally made an appointment with a fertility specialist this past January. My doctor diagnosed me with DOR (diminished ovarian reserve, undetectable AMH) and I have been cycling with the fertility clinic since. I did a cycle with Clomid, HCG trigger and progesterone which resulted in BFN. I am currently on my second cycle following the same protocol.
I started this blog because I felt devastated after our last cycle. I was so optimistic and hopeful during the 2 week wait and when I got the news that I wasn’t pregnant, I felt like I couldn’t possibly keep moving forward on this infertility journey. I felt so lonely and hopeless in a process that should be so simple and natural. As time goes on, I find that I often feel fear, anxiety, sadness, hurt and a whole range of other negative feelings. I guess it is part of the process but finding an outlet is important to me so I can feel my feelings and not let myself disappear into the infertility diagnosis. So in this blog I am hoping to share and document my experiences with fertility treatments, vent and find a way to channel my feelings and maybe provide a source of support to others who are going through the same struggles.